Tough Self-Talk

We are our own worst critics. We are at our worst when it comes to diets and exercise. One of the problems is that we really have no support or ‘cheering team' for the long term. Thus, we must become the loudest and most active member of our own ‘Fan' club. Friends and relatives may be great to help initially, but ultimately it is our ability to be there for ourselves when the going gets tough.

Unfortunately many of us don't know how to "be there” for ourselves in an effective way. We will develop lots of negative feelings about ourselves. Some of us actually feel disgusted with how we look, and feel we lack willpower or a sense of character because we can't stick to a diet, or have had more food than we intended. This kind of self talk is a prescription for failure. It actually increases feelings of resentment, deprivation, and helplessness until they erupt in a self-defeating binge or a collapse into depression and hopelessness.

At the same time, your self-talk can't just switch to the other extreme, where it's full of sweetness and abstract fluff about how wonderful you are and how you can accomplish anything your set your mind to. You have to become a good coach and recognize your real strengths and weaknesses. You need to learn how to work with them, to keep you focused on the positive in every situation, and to put your best efforts forward.

So:

- Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to someone else. It's interesting that we would say things about yourself which we wouldn't dream of saying to another person or a friend. If you are telling yourself things that are hopeless, then stop, and ask yourself if you'd say this to someone who came to you for help with the same problem. (If your child is struggling at school, would you tell him or her that they are hopeless, and they will always fail? If not, then why would you tell yourself that you will always fail at becoming healthy?)

- Look at the complete picture. No matter how persistent your problem of getting back on track or getting out of a long rut seems to be, always ask yourself: "What has gone right?” not, "What has gone wrong?” Sometimes one has to look at a weight plateau as a huge success, simply because you haven't gained, even though you've been to more social functions.

- Be kind to yourself when you realize you've been thinking the right way. By this I mean, reward yourself for just realizing you are thinking properly about trying to control portions and night snacks. Don't measure success simply by what the scale shows or doesn't show. If your attitude is right, then you are successful. If you know you are trying, you are winning the ‘game' of weight loss.

Once you become your own best friend, supporter, and coach, a whole world of possibilities will open up.

(Adapted from an article from ‘Sparkpeople.com')

Keep on trying. Don't ever give up. You can do it!

Dr. Doug