I'm an "All or Nothing Person"

I frequently hear the expression: “I’m an all-or-nothing person.” Actually, it’s an extremely common phrase. As I heard it again from a client who was struggling with controlling food, I began to wonder what, truly, did the person mean? On the surface it becomes a “reason” not to try. Worse, we tend to label ourselves with something that simply isn’t true. If you think about it, what does it really mean? Does it mean that when we go to school if we don’t get 100 per cent on our exams we quit?  In our jobs, does it mean that unless we’re working 18 hour days and are the best employees ever hired we quit?Does it mean that if we are not absolutely perfect with snacking and portions, we stop trying to be healthier?  Does it mean that if our goal was to exercise 3 times per week and we miss one, we should quit exercising altogether?None of us are perfect eaters, perfect exercisers, perfect parents, perfect employees or bosses; the human experience is always to leave some room for improvement. Don’t label yourself. Always be searching for solutions. For example, your goal was to go to the gym or walk 45 minutes last week and you didn’t do it. It wasn’t because “you are an all or nothing person.” It could have been family or work distractions, you might have been ill, your migraines flared; any and all would be a reason for not going out. The question is, will you try again this week? I’m hoping the answer is you WILL try again and not put off the exercise “until the spring.” The same goes with eating: if portions went up and you had some extra snacks, it doesn’t mean you’ve “blown” the week.  What was the reason? Were you tired, did you lack sleep, were there family emergencies, or were you travelling?  All of these are reasons we might not eat well, but the question again is: will you try to control snacks and portions this week, even if you are faced with many distractions?The point is that none of us are perfect; none of us will ever be “perfect” 100% of the time.  What we can become good at, however, is recognizing the situations or feelings that throw us off. That way, in the future we can realize the association and change our reaction. So, under work related stress we might choose healthier snacks, and come home and still have a reasonable portion for supper. Maybe it’s almost best to realize that most of us, one way or another, eat mindlessly; our emotions, thoughts, fatigue, etc. drive us to eat when our bodies don’t need those extra calories.  Search for distractions in those situations - at home get out of the kitchen and do a task; delay the instant gratification of food while you ask yourself: “am I really hungry,” or, “could I choose a healthier snack?”The same goes with exercise. Here we must try to avoid excuses simply because if our muscles aren’t kept strong or we haven’t created a stronger cardio-pulmonary system, our quality of life will lessen as we age.  By staying strong we allow our future selves to climb stairs, go for walks, enjoy playing with our grandchildren, etc.  Keep activity simple. Don’t overwhelm your mind with huge expectations. Look at the demands in your life. See if you can start with 15 minutes of whatever movement you can do that is extra from your normal daily activities. Try not to make fatigue an excuse. Most of us are fatigued first thing in the morning or when we get home from work. Any kind of activity will improve that fatigue, not add to it.So, don’t label yourself as “all or nothing.” Find solutions so that you can create some middle ground with your eating and exercise - don’t strive for perfection. Focus on the successes you’ve experienced today and use them to push you forward!You can do it. I know it’s not easy. Just keep on trying and never ever give up.Dr. Doug