Make Goals but don’t make Imperatives

When we decide to start a weight management plan, we tend to make ‘resolutions,' or set new goals for ourselves. All of this is great, but with weight loss, you are looking at a daily behaviour change for the rest of your life. If you set a goal that is too demanding or rigid, you may set yourself up for discouragement since it's impossible to eat perfectly all of the time.
Be careful if your goals use ‘imperative words.' These are words that imply urgency and no room for error. Examples of imperative words are: "always,” "must,” and "never.” If you are like most people, your vocabulary may be peppered with imperatives. Using these words can pave the path to trouble.
Examples of these kinds of statements might be:
• "I will never eat more than 1400 calories.”
• "I must never eat cookie dough ice cream again.”
• "I will eat a salad for lunch every day.”
• "I will always say no when I'm offered a muffin at work.”
• "I will exercise every day.”
These thoughts can float around in your mind waiting to take pot shots at your control. If you exceed you calories some day, you can recover from the extra calories if your control stays intact. However, the imperatives can get a clean shot at you if your mind cranks out thoughts like, "I should never eat more that I'm told.” When this happens, it could lead to trouble. Disappointment occurs, and one can lose sight of positive accomplishments because of a few mistakes.
Replace imperative statements with ones that allow some flexibility. For example, if you've said, "I will exercise every day;” change that to: "My goal is to exercise daily, and I will try my best to reach it. When I can't, I will try harder the next day.”
You must be appropriately realistic about changes in eating and exercise habits. You are trying to achieve a mental attitude that is will carry you through for a lifetime, not just a rapid shock to the system over the next 12 weeks. So, work on visualizing what you want to feel like, what you want to look like, and then think about what you will have to do to become that person. For some, it will simply working on stopping the mindless grabs of food we do throughout the day, others it will be about learning to eat smaller portions, realizing that smaller amounts will not leave you feeling hungry. Still others will need to find some activity they like to do, and do it regularly. To do these things, you must CONTINUALLY be aware of what you want to feel and look like.
This is a hard journey, but a surprisingly fulfilling one, once it's started. Don't be harsh on yourself if you aren't perfect; that is life and we cannot predict situations that will impact on our food decision making.
Keep trying; don't ever give up because I know you can do it!
Dr. Doug