Choices We Make

Over the past little while, I've listened to many people tell me how they "just can't stop snacking in the evening.” Or, they talk about how they "just can't get back on track.”
What they are describing is a choice they have made. They have pre-determined that they are unable to stop snacking. When you choose to see yourself as incompetent or incapable, you will experience incompetence and incapability. When you choose to see yourself as unable to control your food intake, you will simply eat and confirm that you cannot lose weight.
How do we arrive at such self-defeating thinking?
Your abilities are unique. Maybe you cannot sing in perfect pitch or play professional soccer, or be an entrepreneur with a million-dollar income; but thinking of yourself as incapable ignores your strengths. You have many other things you do well; it may be in your area of work, your ability as a great mother or father, your creativity around your house. The trouble is we are especially focused on those imagined negative thoughts about ourselves in the evening. "I'm lonely;” "My life is boring;” "I'm upset with my co-worker;” "Why do I have to do everything for everyone and no one helps me?” So we eat, and it's soothing. However, eating just re-enforces our self-loathing. What if you could train your emotional mind to concentrate on all those great things in your life; all those things that make you a wonderful person? What if you perpetually focused on all the good things you have done, and focused on all the exciting things you want to do with your life? Choose to be in a positive frame of mind. Write down all the good qualities you have. Write down all the small things you will get done this week and weekend that you have been putting off.
If you focus on what you cannot do instead of what you can do, you create a picture of yourself that is narrow, and frankly false. It is imaginary, not reality. You disregard your abilities, and see yourself as unable or incompetent. So, focus on your strengths instead.
Choosing positive thoughts is an act of creation. Most people think carefully about moving, changing careers and getting married. They research, analyze, feel and use their intuition. We look at these situations as important, so we spend active time thinking about them. Yet the most important choices you make are the choices about how you see yourself, and how you see yourself in the world around you. Don't feel like a victim. You are much more than those imaginary thoughts. Look at your good qualities; choose to eat well because you deserve to feel better about yourself. When your mood is down, choose not to eat. Work hard at those times to develop a more positive frame of mind.
Who is it that you want to become? Do you want to be thinner, more vibrant, and more confident about your physical self? You can! Choose to be that person. Usually the negative thoughts or moods are very short-lived. There may be only 2 hours in the evening when you have to work at thinking positively to help yourself stay in control of your eating. If you can hurdle those few hours, you will find yourself less and less a victim of food.
You can do it. Keep on trying and don't ever give up.
Dr. Doug