Effective Goal Setting
Goal-setting can be frustrating. Many of us make ‘goals' or ‘resolutions,' and then falter before achieving them; this creates the myth that we 'can never accomplish them.'
The problem is that we have trouble following a 'self-imposed' goal versus a goal set by our boss, school or profession. (You might study hard to pass a course in school, but be less likely to be diligent about ongoing learning when it's something that is important for you but not imperative that you do it when you are older).
People who meet one goal can meet more goals because of self-discipline. Self-discipline is a muscle that gets stronger and stronger the more you use it.
Thus, don't set a goal about money. It has no intrinsic value beyond your basic food and shelter. Set your goals for things that truly will change your life. The money will come from living life like this. Similarly, setting a weight goal has no intrinsic value; but, making good choices about food and doing regular exercise will make you feel more vibrant and confident, and weight loss will follow. Look at the benefits of the daily process of good eating and how you feel, and not at: "I have to lose 50 pounds."
Redefine your goals. Don't tell yourself things you can and cannot do. For instance, if your goal is to reduce your bread intake, then instead of saying: "I CAN'T have bread," you might re-frame this into: "I will only eat foods that make me feel good." You can't change behaviour if you don't know what to change it to.
Don't make a goal so broad that you can't tell on a daily basis if you're getting there. If you tend to work on the computer too much in the evening, look at why you what to decrease your time on it. If the goal is to spend more time with your family, you might decide not to have the computer on between 7 and 10 pm.
Most importantly, write down your goals daily. If you write your goal down each day, it makes you more committed. One of the reasons this works is that changing behaviour takes intense focus; writing down goals reminds our brain of what we're focusing on. Writing down your goals only takes about a minute a day. If you can't find this time to write your goals you are likely not ready to change.
Commit to three weeks: The hardest part of changing behaviour is that your brain is addicted to the bad behaviour. If you force yourself to change your behaviour for three weeks, your brain will start to develop more dopamine in response to the new behaviour. After three weeks, your brain will start to release dopamine when it thinks about going to the gym instead of when it thinks about ditching the gym.
During those three weeks you need to know the night before how you are going to meet your goal the next day. Each day might require a different schedule.
People who don't change their behaviour tend to justify it by saying that it's socially acceptable (denial). So...travel in circles with like-minded people where the behaviour you want to change is not accepted. They will help you to be the person you want to be.
For instance, join a walking (or other exercise) group. You will find a group of people who want to become more fit and lose weight. Choose your 'friends' carefully. If they are true friends they should want to empower you to change, not hold you back.
You can do it, never give up! Dr. Doug