Is Failure a bad word?
I loved an article written by Sarah Lewis; a critic at the Yale University School of Art.
Most of the article below is taken from her thoughts as written in ‘Oprah' magazine.
The reason it interests me so much is that I hear these words frequently from everyone. The sentiment is about how people feel about their inability to either lose weight or keep it off; or their inability to sustain regular physical activity.
As far as I am concerned, no one ‘fails'. There is no passing grade we must achieve. All we are trying to do is improve improper eating choices or lack of movement. Trying is the operative word. Learning to accept the fact that we will never achieve ‘perfection' (whatever that is) is the biggest lesson. We need to be less harsh on ourselves, and realize that each day is simply a challenge to be met. Each day might bring feelings of pride in what we did, or simply the realization that we might try something new and different the next day.
To quote Ms Lewis: "How has our culture misunderstood the term failure? It was never meant to describe human beings - according to one historian the usage of failure shifted in 19th Century America from denoting bankruptcy to describing people. It has been a forced fit from the start. We think of failure as a dead end, a point of no return, but the human spirit is dynamic, not static.”
"We should not use the word failure towards ourselves, rather we can call it a learning experience; a step on your path. Consider the way an athlete replays the tape of her last game, gleaning ways to improve, or how scientists get great use out of lessons from failed hypotheses. Mastery is an ever-onward proposition.”
"Missteps are valuable; they keep you striving. In fact, expertise can actually hinder innovation.”
"When you are faced with a setback, make friends with it then distance yourself emotionally from it. When you have a bit more fortitude, look at it objectively as though you're observing the actions of another person. Pick it apart to find what was positive. Give yourself a safe haven to try out new techniques. Remember all those who have felt this way before you, and realize you are in excellent company.”
You see, none of us ‘fail'. We only make missteps and must learn from these. Each setback is simply a learning experience; from this we learn what works for ourselves. You and I are travelling down different paths, and what works for me might not work for you, and vice versa.
Be gentle with yourself. If today was not your best day of eating or exercising, look at what parts of it were good, and what parts you might work on to improve for tomorrow or the next day.
I know it's not easy, but never give up. The journey is a long one, but it can be fulfilling if we learn not to criticize our efforts so much.
Dr Doug