“Just Because It’s There Doesn’t Mean You Have To Have It.”
"Just Because It's There Doesn't Mean You Have To Have It.”
-T.M.
I was talking with a patient this week, and he had had a fair number of relatives visiting him. Not unexpectedly, it seemed like everyone had brought food with them. I know in these situations it's difficult to not partake in the many offerings but if our goal, our desire, our wish, is to lose weight then we must learn to have some degree of control, despite the situation. Fully expecting his weight to be up, I put him on the scale and was surprised to see he had gone down. I asked him how he was able to minimize his intake of all the food. His response was, "Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to have it.” I smiled because the statement was both simple and wise, and it also demonstrated his well-developed sense of awareness & control.
It seems every day there is some event or some person (maybe even our family) that seems to sabotage our efforts. You can look at these situations as a self-fulfilling prophecy for failure; or, you can practice controlled portions and turning your back on foods that you know are triggers for you. For the rest of our lives we will be walking down this path: one turn means unnecessary food yet temporary pleasure, and the other turn means saying no and temporarily denying ourselves immediate gratification, yet ultimately giving us a feeling of confidence and self-control. All of us strive to have control over food rather than allowing food to control us.
I truly believe that developing control over food is a matter of practice; relentless, frustrating, daily practice. The problem that you will encounter, as in many aspects of your life, is that there will be ‘failures' or at least perceived failures. Look as these as learning experiences. Develop the ability to look at these events or situations as something to learn from. Ask yourself, "Why did I make that choice? What will I do the next time?”
The most common eating situation that negatively affects most people is evening snacking. If there is one habit I could magically help people with, it would be this one. Again, however, managing this situation takes practice. None of us are going to ‘starve' if we don't have a snack. The pleasure is short-lived but the effect on our body weight is long-term. One simple thing you might work on over the next while is limiting the mindless evening snacks (the high-starch, high-sugar snacks that calm us at the end of a stressful day). See if you can go one evening, maybe even two with healthier snacks (i.e. cheese & nuts, yogurt, hummus & veggies, etc.) and see how you feel. Psychologically and physically I know you will feel better. Will it be easy? No it won't! But, practicing nightly will eventually diminish and eliminate this common eating habit we all seem to possess. Remember; "just because it's there, you don't have to eat it.”
Distractions help. Get out of the kitchen. Make a rule not to snack in front of the T.V. We all know this, but seem to fail to put it into practice. If you are fortunate enough to have a T.V. that is far away from the fridge and food cupboards, then watch your favourite program there.
Food always beckons. Control is difficult. Practice! Practice positive self-talk, and practice not giving in to the immediate desire to ‘munch.' The more you practice the more successful you become. Ultimately that feeling of deprivation will disappear.
You can do it. Every single one of us reverts to old habits every once in a while; it is how we turn things around that's the key to long-term success. Keep on trying, and never give up.
Dr. Doug