"I Can" or "I Cannot"

Many times I have watched my brother work late into the evening and into the early morning hours, trying to solve a computer problem or work on designing a new software package. He endures, when I would easily throw in the towel after 1 hour of not finding a solution. I realize however, that he knows that somewhere, somehow there is a solution. (He usually finds it). In this situation I doubt if the words "I cannot” or "will not” enter his mind while trying to solve this difficult problem. For me, the computer represents a complicated machine that can only be truly understood by a very few people out there. My "cannot” attitude usually results in exactly that. I cannot figure it out and need phone my brother (Since I give up quickly in this situation, my computer skills stagnate.)

I realize however, that the mental attitude we take in everything we do, will determine success or failure. If you allow your mind to see only the impossibility of losing weight, you will become stuck and will not find a solution to portions, snacking, and exercise. If however, you allow your mind to believe (and I mean truly believe) that you will succeed, that you will find a solution and that you will keep going no matter how long it takes, it will happen.

You never need to totally understand how or when or how long; all you have to do is truly believe. Solutions will come. Determination will occur. Motivation will manifest itself. We give up so early, simply because our minds say "it cannot be done”.

In weight loss and lifestyle change, there comes a point in the weight loss process where many people just don't feel like they can continue any longer. You have ‘hit the wall' of frustration, discouragement and possibly a feeling of discomfort in having to limit your portions or snacks. This is really not a major barrier and it should not be looked upon as such. It is only a fork in the road-you either give up and return to old habits (which you hated anyway) or you get stronger, make progress and move forward.

We all have to realize that there will be an impasse somewhere along the line and maybe even more than one. Do not become frustrated. You must work on your mental state and believe that you have the solution, even though you are unable to find it at this moment. Be patient, it will appear and you frustrations will quickly disappear. You will feel great about yourself.

I admire my brother for his unending belief that he will find a solution. I admire so many of my patients who I see going through many adversities, but not giving up. In either situation, we must say to ourselves "I can find my way” or "I will find my way”, because as soon as the mental "cannot” barrier comes up, that is exactly what will happen.

So, hang in there. Be patient. You can do it. Frustrations occur, but do not ever give up.

Dr. Doug