Perfectionism and the “All-or-Nothing” Attitude

PERFECTIONISM and the ALL-OR-NOTHING ATTITUDE

Adapted from an article from www.prevention.com: "Break free from an ‘all-or-nothing' mindset to reap real weight loss success”

Many people tend to be perfectionists when it comes to weight loss – they adopt an "all-or-nothing mentality” when embarking on a new food plan or exercise regime. Being a perfectionist can actually create a lot of animosity towards healthy eating & exercise, because the second we're not "perfect”, we give up completely. Says Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD: "Real life is just not conducive to this perfect-eating attitude.”

Striving for perfection can be learned from your parents or from living in a culture obsessed with beauty or wealth. We're reminded on a daily basis what we could have or look like if we just worked a little harder and had more self-control. Some of us might not even realize we're perfectionists in certain aspects of our life. Whenever you start a new weight loss regime, it's normal to want to follow it to a "T”…you feel that if you do so, you'll be optimally successful in losing weight quickly. We can feel convinced that this approach is the right one, until life events creep in and all of a sudden our original resolve gets thrown out the window.

Prevention magazine states: "If you can answer yes to several of the following questions, you might be a perfectionist dieter:”
1. Do you typically begin your new program on a Monday?
2. Do you use the words good and bad to describe certain foods and your eating behaviour?
3. Do you tend to want to speed up the process by eating less than your program suggests?
4. Do you expect to suffer, feeling starved and deprived?
5. Do you expect to completely eliminate your favourite foods?
6. Do you "fall off the wagon” and throw in the towel after making just one unhealthy food choice?
7. Are you convinced that past failed attempts were due to lack of effort and/or staying focused?

We can unnecessarily set ourselves up for failure if we have a perfectionist attitude towards weight loss. However, we can be the most successful if we work towards letting go of that "all-or-nothing” mentality, and realize that we can get healthier without being "perfect.” The following are some helpful tips to manage an "all-or-nothing" mentality:

1. Avoid starting on a Monday. - Instead of waiting until a certain day to begin "dieting,” start making healthier choices at the very next meal or snack. Feel empowered by any small change you can make. The second you make a better food choice, you'll start feeling more in control.

2. Avoid using the words "good” and "bad” - Eliminate these words when describing yourself and the foods you eat. These words set us up for the all-or-nothing mindset we're trying to get away from. Instead, be mindful of how your body feels when you're eating healthy foods. If you have cravings, it's okay to indulge once in awhile…just make sure the food is worth it to you. When we're too strict and make certain foods "forbidden,” we can create rebellious behaviours that then work against us.

3. Stop starving yourself for faster results - While logically it seems to make sense that "eating less” will make us "lose more,” this way of dieting can actually work against us. Not only will you feel hungry and unsatisfied, but sometimes the body can stop letting go of weight if it's not getting regular "fuel”. Protein distribution through the day is key to managing blood sugars and ultimately, hunger. Starting your day with a protein-rich breakfast can actually help hunger later on in the day.

4. Don't suffer through your diet - Blatner says: "A red flag that a diet won't work is if it feels difficult to maintain.” Many of us associate weight loss with hunger, irritability and daily deprivation. Eating the right foods at the right times can actually make us feel less hungry, more satisfied and more energized. Weight loss doesn't mean you have to suffer – awareness is really the key to achieving long-term success.

5. Don't eliminate favourite foods - When we forbid certain foods, we adopt the "all-or-nothing” mentality again. One way to manage cravings is to give yourself permission to indulge on occasion, without guilt, as part of your weight-loss journey. We make so many decisions every day about food – it's impossible to make every decision perfect, all the time. Allow yourself wiggle room and get right back on track after indulging.

6. Don't let mistakes derail you - When we're trying to be "perfect,” the smallest slip-up can become a vicious cycle of frustration, guilt and self-deprecation which can ultimately cause us to give up completely. Rather than loathing yourself for making an unhealthy choice, empower yourself by making a healthier choice at the next meal or snack.

7. Forget the past - Many people say things like: "I've tried everything and nothing works –I'll surely fail at this too.” It's easy to feel guilt and shame about efforts we may have abandoned in the past. However, if we can reflect on why we may have given up in the past, we can better prepare ourselves for embarking on a new journey towards better health.

If you see yourself sliding back into an all-or-nothing mentality, stop and reflect – Blatner says to repeat this phrase: "The key to optimal physical health and mental wellness is progress, not perfection.”

No matter what situation you encounter, realize you CAN get back on track and you WILL ultimately achieve your goals. Mindfulness is the key to balanced eating and ultimately a healthier lifestyle. Don't ever give up on your journey towards better health.

Dr. Doug